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TOEFL Essay - Children in the City

Children in the city.

 

Sample Essay - TOEFL Independent Writing Task

Below is a sample "super" essay for the independent writing task of the TOEFL.  This is meant to be a model essay; it may be far more advanced than most test-takers can achieve within the 30-minute time limit to write, but you can study the vocabulary, sentence structure, and argument flow to improve your own essays.  

 

Question: 
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city.  Do you agree or disagree?  Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Response:

Word count: 446 words

Parents need to carefully weigh the many advantages and disadvantages of different places when choosing where to raise their children. Some people claim that the countryside, with its nature and slower life pace, is a less stressful and more wholesome environment for children. However, I believe that a big city offers many more valuable life experiences that enhance children’s lives.

When I was growing up, I lived in a big city, with a population of over 5 million people. I also sometimes visited my grandparents during the summer, and they lived in a rural area. While I enjoyed my grandparents’ company a lot, I missed being around my friends back home. My city has a very diverse population, and my friends came from all over the world, such as from India, Bulgaria, Japan, Mexico, and Oman. I know now that in addition to just having fun with my friends, I got to learn about many cultures and develop skills in relating to people with different backgrounds and perspectives. This will be very valuable to me during my college education and afterward as I pursue my career, which will involve interacting with diverse co-workers and customers.

Some may still say that children can develop these skills later and first benefit from being surrounded by nature in the countryside. It’s true that being immersed in nature provides a unique learning experience. However, I was able to be exposed to many wondrous aspects of nature from the zoo and the science museum in my city. At the zoo I could see for myself and learn about animals from faraway places. The night sky is spectacularly beautiful in the countryside, but I also discovered a lot more about stars in the science museum. After many visits there with my parents, I became informed about the constellations, the life cycles of stars, and much more through the planetarium shows and the magnificent exhibits.

In the city I was also able to have enriching experiences at other cultural institutions, such as at the art museum that was only a 10-minute subway ride away from my apartment, and the concert hall that was just ten blocks away. I got to see paintings and sculptures by several famous artists, and hear Western classical symphonies, Chinese operas, and Indian carnatic musical performances. There are fewer if any opportunities like this to be found in the countryside.

Thus for these reasons and more I think children will receive a more well-rounded life education by growing up in the more stimulating environment provided by a big city. Children can gain the benefits of the countryside by visiting there on vacations, while living mainly in an urban setting.

(c) 2017 by Diacorda Amosapa

wholesome - adj. beneficial to physical or moral health; appropriate for children
~ I think it was a very wholesome movie that I could see again with my daughter and her friends.
~ The National School Lunch Program aims to provide wholesome, nutritious meals for children at school.

immersed - adj. to be totally surrounded by something, such as a liquid
~ I didn’t hear my phone ring; I was so immersed in reading the book.
~ She’s been immersed in her volunteer work at the charity.

constellation - n. a group of stars that have a name and often represent a thing or person from an ancient story; a group of things related in some way
~ I think the constellation Orion is the easiest to find in the night sky.
~ There is a constellation of cities in the northwestern part of the state.

well-rounded - adj. having a balance of many good abilities or traits.
~ She received a very well-rounded education in the arts, sciences, history, and math.
~ We made sure the summer camp has a well-rounded program that includes social activities, community service, and nature education. 

setting - n. environment, context, situation, surroundings
~ I’ve usually worked in an office setting, but I really want to work in a lab.
~ My nursing experience includes working in both home and hospital settings.


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